By Homaira Kabir, November 6, 2020
In the space of just three seasons, we've gone from total freedom to the isolation of lockdown to the release of reopening. And the whiplash of events may not be over yet, as the third wave of the pandemic makes its way. But we can all save ourselves the resulting emotional sways by finding the beauty and lessons in the months we have spent in confinement.
Whether we’ve spent these months with ample time on our hands or have been inundated with the challenges of working from home with kids in tow, chances are, we have learned something about ourselves we didn’t know before. Maybe we reflected on our goals and aspirations, and connected with who we truly want to be in this world. Maybe we reassessed our priorities, and listened inward to what we most value in life.
The world rarely gives us moments for this kind of reflection. It moves too fast and bombards us with external expectations. Not getting left behind often becomes the sole purpose of life. Tragic as this pandemic has been, and continues to be, it gave us a chance—and may do so again—to step off life’s treadmill to reconsider how we’re showing up in the world.
Remember when our kids were little and we would give them a timeout to reflect on their behaviors? Perhaps this was nature’s timeout to us. Perhaps, like parents, it held the vision close to its heart that we would come out a little wiser, a little kinder, a little less selfish. I certainly held onto that vision in those parenting moments. My children didn’t always oblige. Most times, they simply sat swinging their legs restlessly, waiting until they were given permission to go play again. Other times, they showed some signs of reflection, but with distractions all around, it wasn’t long before their creative, novelty-seeking brains took over. Rarely did they come out transformed.
But we’re not kids. At their age, they were incapable of transformation. Our adult brains have everything they need for us to be able to connect with our highest ideals, and for us to be able to change our behaviors accordingly. IF we take the time to reflect, that is.
If we spend our time away from regular lives moping about the unfairness of it all, or complaining that life is just so urgh, then we're more likely to emerge more cynical and more afraid. And if we stay busy, biding our time until we can go back to the world as it was, we stay hooked on the ideal of productivity and risk putting ourselves back on the burnout treadmill. What we need to do to meet the demands and distractions of the outer world, is for our inner world to do its homework.
Those of us who have embraced the lack of control, engaged with the challenges, and sought meaning through it all, have emerged more resilient and open to new ways of living. We’ve gathered the beauty and the brokenness of the world that was, and instead of trying to piece it back together into a fragile whole, we’ve created something soulful and lasting out of it. And now that COVID-19's third wave has begun lapping at our ankles, threatening to wash over us, we find that we're better prepared to weather the coming storm.
This is what happens in post-traumatic growth. When the stories we build about and around ourselves are shattered, and our views of the world and sense of self are questioned, we always have a choice. Will we widen our perspective and create a new story that’s aligned with our human needs and aspirations? Or will we try and hang on to the story that was, even if it’s past its time and purpose?
The world will likely never be the same again. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. A lot of what we had wasn’t working for a lot of us. Even if our own lives were cushy, they were so at the expense of many innocent and underprivileged souls. The pandemic, the pain of isolation, the divisiveness and prejudices in our societies are calling on us to reflect; so that we can be the forebearers of the torch that carries our humanity into a consciousness rebirth.
We got a chance to do so in the last lockdown. We may get a chance to do so again. If so, use this time wisely. It’s not a punishment. It’s a timeout.
Here are some questions to help you get started:
- What kind of world do you want to leave behind for future generations?
- What are the seeds that need to be planted right now? How will you do so?
- How will you need to change? Who will you need to become?
Homaira is a coach, writer, and researcher who helps women build grounded confidence in order to live their most successful lives. Take her free quiz to find out if your confidence is grounded, or fragile.
(Sources: Happify)
